Humor has two strikes against it right from the start. It's subjective and it's language based. It's a simple fact that if you can't see the twinkle that was in my eye when I wrote these (or copied them) then you might believe that I'm dead serious. I have had several occasions when people have contacted me, mortally offended that I would take such a view of programmers or Pascal or....
And my response has always been, "Relax, son, its a JOKE." I'm a programmer myself and the profession has hit rock bottom when it can't chuckle at itself.
So, sit back, and I hope you have a laugh or at least a chuckle. Speaking of jokes, did you hear the one about the scientests who landed on a planet that was totally barren?
Well, not quite totally barren. There was one feature that broke the monotonously smooth globe of the planet and that was a huge statue, 20 feet high, of a man sitting in a chair, resting his head on his palm. For three months the scientists researched that planet but they found nothing except the statue. They tried, in vain, to determine what that statue was for. Finally, their time on the planet done, they were packing up their gear in the rocket. The head scientist had wandered down to the statue to look and ponder one last time. While he stood there he wondered aloud, "What is the purpose of this statue?"
There was a loud groan of metal moving as the statue ponderously rose to its feet, the statue standing thirty feet tall. As it opened its mouth for the first time in who knows how long there arose the loud sound of metal in desperate need of oiling. But finally, the statue spoke.
"Cogito ergo sum," his voice rang out over the landscape and then, with a horrendous clang, he sat back down and became quite still again.
The head scientist was still puzzling the words of the giant, "I think therefore I am," when the other scientist finally reached him from the rocket. That's when the head scientist shouted out, "Eureka!" All of the scientists looked at him expectantly.
"It stands to reason!"
<smile>Now, you can't say I didn't warn you :)
Humor has two strikes against it right from the start. It's subjective and it's language based. It's a simple fact that if you can't see the twinkle that was in my eye when I wrote these (or copied them) then you might believe that I'm dead serious. I have had several occasions when people have contacted me, mortally offended that I would take such a view of programmers or Pascal or....
And my response has always been, "Relax, son, its a JOKE." I'm a programmer myself and the profession has hit rock bottom when it can't chuckle at itself.
So, sit back, and I hope you have a laugh or at least a chuckle. Speaking of jokes, did you hear the one about the scientests who landed on a planet that was totally barren?
Well, not quite totally barren. There was one feature that broke the monotonously smooth globe of the planet and that was a huge statue, 20 feet high, of a man sitting in a chair, resting his head on his palm. For three months the scientists researched that planet but they found nothing except the statue. They tried, in vain, to determine what that statue was for. Finally, their time on the planet done, they were packing up their gear in the rocket. The head scientist had wandered down to the statue to look and ponder one last time. While he stood there he wondered aloud, "What is the purpose of this statue?"
There was a loud groan of metal moving as the statue ponderously rose to its feet, the statue standing thirty feet tall. As it opened its mouth for the first time in who knows how long there arose the loud sound of metal in desperate need of oiling. But finally, the statue spoke.
"Cogito ergo sum," his voice rang out over the landscape and then, with a horrendous clang, he sat back down and became quite still again.
The head scientist was still puzzling the words of the giant, "I think therefore I am," when the other scientist finally reached him from the rocket. That's when the head scientist shouted out, "Eureka!" All of the scientists looked at him expectantly.
"It stands to reason!"
<smile>Now, you can't say I didn't warn you :)