| 100 |
Kirk is a leader, not a follower. |
| 99 |
Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look. |
| 98 |
Kirk has sex more than once a season. |
| 97 |
One Word: Hair |
| 96 |
Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-WIG. |
| 95 |
Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed. |
| 94 |
Picard is a French man with an English accent. |
| 93 |
Kirk would date Beverly Crusher - and damn the consequences!! |
| 92 |
Kirk never drinks tea. Ever. |
| 91 |
Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk. |
| 90 |
Kirk would personally throw Wesley off his bridge. |
| 89 |
Two words: Shoulder Roll |
| 88 |
Kirk doesn't wear dresses when admirals arrive for lunch. |
| 87 |
Kirk once said: "I've got a belly-ache - and it's a beauty." |
| 86 |
Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis. |
| 85 |
Kirk can almost drive a stick shift. |
| 84 |
Kirk, almost single-handedly, re-populated the Earth's whale population. |
| 83 |
Kirk says, "Prime Directive? What Prime Directive?" |
| 82 |
Kirk knows 20th Century curses. |
| 81 |
Kirk was NEVER infiltrated by the Borg and used against the Federation. |
| 80 |
Kirk ate little coloured cubes and still remained relatively healthy. |
| 79 |
Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology. |
| 78 |
Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical advantage. |
| 77 |
Kirk wasn't shy about taking his shirt off; even around those pesky Yeoman. |
| 76 |
Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill. |
| 75 |
Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt. |
| 74 |
One Word: Velour. |
| 73 |
Kirk can beat a Vulcan at Chess. |
| 72 |
When Kirk was Picard's age, he retired from Admiral and took to climbing rocks. |
| 71 |
When Picard was 37, he was only Captain of the lowly Stargazer.
When Kirk was 37, he was Captain of the flagship Enterprise. |
| 70 |
Kirk liked a good belt of liquor every now and again. |
| 69 |
One Word: Iman |
| 68 |
Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt. |
| 67 |
If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he would rip off its head and s**t down its neck. |
| 66 |
Kirk says, "Shoot first and wait for retaliation." |
| 65 |
Kirk's first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge. |
| 64 |
Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out. |
| 63 |
Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some dumb old janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes. |
| 62 |
Two Words: Funky Sideburns |
| 61 |
Kirk never asks his bartender for advice. |
| 60 |
Kirk never once said, "Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!" |
| 59 |
Kirk is not politically correct. |
| 58 |
Kirk never got "dumped" by a woman for an intergalactic busy body named after a letter of the alphabet. |
| 57 |
Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest. |
| 56 |
If there was ever a Klingon on Kirk's bridge, Kirk would likely be dead. |
| 55 |
Ever hear of a bar shooter called "Make it so?" No? How about a "Beam me up Scotty" then? See the difference? |
| 54 |
One Word: Miniskirts |
| 53 |
Kirk's girlfriends always look good in soft light. |
| 52 |
Kirk never went anywhere without a whole bunch of guys in red shirts. |
| 51 |
Kirk's first officer didn't play some wimpy instrument like the trombone. |
| 50 |
Kirk had more dates than his first officer. |
| 49 |
The extent of Kirk's knowledge of Klingon vocabulary can be roughly translated as "GO F*CK YOURSELF." |
| 48 |
If something doesn't speak English - it's toast. |
| 47 |
Kirk wasn't some prissy archaeology fan. |
| 46 |
Picard's middle name isn't tough or awe-inspiring like Tiberius is. |
| 45 |
If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up. |
| 44 |
Picard never met Joan Collins. |
| 43 |
Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet. |
| 42 |
Picard hasn't fathered any children; Kirk - probably millions. |
| 41 |
Kirk has a cool phaser - not some pansy Braun mix-master. |
| 40 |
Two Words: Line Delivery |
| 39 |
Picard grew up on a quaint little French vineyard, squishing grapes with his toes, while Kirk slung bails of wheat and hay in Iowa to put himself through school. |
| 38 |
Kirk emphasizes his orations with pertinent hand gestures. |
| 37 |
Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulphur, potassium nitrate, charcoal and then fired diamonds into the hearts of his enemies
(Need we say more?) |
| 36 |
Kirk is not put off by green skin. |
| 35 |
Kirk knows how to deal with peace loving hippy goofs. |
| 34 |
Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won. |
| 33 |
Kirk barely asks for suggestions. And if he does, he only asks Spock. |
| 32 |
Kirk doesn't let the doctor tell him what to do. |
| 31 |
One Word: Fisticuffs |
| 30 |
Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy. |
| 29 |
Kirk appreciates Shakespeare, but he doesn't let it show. |
| 28 |
You can never lock up Kirk for very long. |
| 27 |
Kirk's eulogies can actually make you cry. |
| 26 |
Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for resources. |
| 25 |
Kirk's son would never drop out to become a musician. |
| 24 |
Kirk can climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything. |
| 23 |
Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses. |
| 22 |
The Klingons didn't have a word for surrender - until they met Kirk. |
| 21 |
Kirk's bridge is not beige. |
| 20 |
Two Words: Crane Shots |
| 19 |
Picard likes wimpy violin music -- and coerces Data into playing it. |
| 18 |
Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute things, like Tribbles. |
| 17 |
Kirk is a cultural icon - Picard is just some guy who's really nice. |
| 16 |
Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge. |
| 15 |
Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL. |
| 14 |
Kirk looks distinguished in reading glasses - and nobody dares to call him "four eyes." |
| 13 |
Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon; easily. |
| 12 |
Picard likes painting nudes, for art's sake. |
| 11 |
When Kirk doesn't trust the Romulans, he fires at them.
When Picard doesn't trust the Romulans, he gets fired at. |
| 10 |
Kirk never once, ever, wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on shore leave. |
| 9 |
Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting ensign. |
| 8 |
Kirk doesn't test the engines -- he just fires them up. |
| 7 |
When Kirk says, "Boldly Go," he MEANS it. |
| 6 |
Three Words: Flying Leg Kick |
| 5 |
Picard's crew would never ever think of him as a sexual object. |
| 4 |
Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even impressed. |
| 3 |
Kirk's bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets. |
| 2 |
Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail. |
| 1 |
One Word: Gonads! |