A Modern Day Fable

Once upon a time there was a donkey and an elephant and they were having a friendly discussion about who was the better representative of the animal species. Being men, the testosterone ran high and they finally decided to have a pissing contest. They got nine crows to officiate and drew lots to determine who would go first. The donkey won and stood at the line, reared up in his best imitation of an Arabian and let loose a stream of piss that flew out about 20 feet. When he was finished, he stepped away from the line bowed to the crowd. Then it was the elephant's turn. He got up to the line, reared back on his hind feet, let loose with a deafening trumpet roar and a veritable river of urine that drenched the land in front of him. So mighty was his spray that it seemed a new creek had come to join down to the river.

The crows all nodded about and the elephant was quickly declared the winner.

Four years later, the donkey challenged the elephant to another pissing contest. Again, the donkey went first and both the elephant and donkey performed as they had the first time. This time, however, the crows decreed that the donkey had won. The elephant was astonished and bellowed up and down how he had been robbed. Once the elephant had finally worn itself out, the oldest crow explained, 'yes, on volume you would have been declared winner, perhaps even on style, but this year the rules we different. Rather than just pissing a lot, you had to piss a specific amount and whoever came closest to that won. And it was a very small amount because it took the people most of the last 4 years to clean up the water supply from the pissing contest you won."

And so the elephant tromped off, loudly declaring he had been cheated.

The moral of the story: Even in a pissing contest, brains wins out over brawn.