“May God give you...For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.”
An Irish Blessing

Depending upon your point of view, where I live has either been blessed by having major storms just skirt us or cursed by the lack of a rousing good thunderstorm. Either way, I went out to get something after the storm and saw a beautiful rainbow. There was also a tree in the road that I moved but it was someone's dead Christmas tree and was just an accident waiting to happen. But the rainbow, as you can clearly see from the photo, has an end. In a bulding.

But not just any building. It ended right in Wal*Mart. The following story is not true... I didn't really do it... But oh I wanted to....

It was one of those days in the mid-west. A fast moving storm had just passed through and I was headed out to Wal*Mart™ to get something to satisfy my sweet tooth. What I didn't know, see, was I was gonna get Lucky! I turned out of my apartment complex and stopped at the light, waiting for it to turn so I could cross the road and head into Wal*Mart when I saw it, a multi-colored band of light that just shouted GOLD! and ended at my destination. As soon as the light changed green I gunned the engine and popped the clutch, hopping over the road and swerving into the parking lot, my tires making loud noises on the wet asphalt. I pulled up in front of the store and shut down the car, parking in the fire lane like I was one of the privileged folks who do that with their Hummers because they know nobody's gonna tow a vehicle that can run them over later. I figured luck was on my side and I could risk it

I popped through the doors and turned on the greeter, a dame who resemebled a drop of water hanging from an icicle and just as cold. I looked at her name tag and then turned my eyes to look at her face. I wish I could have kept looking at her nametag, not cause it was attached to something nice and feminine but because her face wasn't. "Marlene," I said, "where's the leprechaun?" She looked at me like I was a crazed man and maybe I was. Maybe all the nights of cheap gin and cheaper cigarettes had finally gotten to me, but I pressed in close. "C'mon, kid, the leprechaun, just tell me where he is." She seemed scared. She was shaking, or maybe it was just her palsy but she raised one shuddering hand that looked more like a raven's claw and pointed toward customer service.

"There, that way. Ask for Mickey." I touched the brim of my hat in thanks and turned, knowing that every second was making the rainbow fade and I needed to find the Leprechaun before it disappeared completely.

I got to the customer service desk and shouldered past a couple of goons who were there trying to make it look like they were returning merchandise but I knew better. I could see the receipts in their hands and the unopened merchandise and figured they were a couple of heavies that Mickey kept around to keep folks away and in line. That and the odd shapes in their pockets where their MP3 players should be looked to remarkably L-shaped to be anything but one of the players that only plays one note, and that would always be a sharp report.

"Look, sister," I said to the dame behind the counter, thinking that if she were my sister I'd have committed patricide, matricide and suicide, though I'd have let her live as an object lesson. "I'm looking for Mickey, see, and I need to see him right away. It's urgent." She started to object that she didn't know anyone by that name. "The Leprechaun," I interrupted. Suddnely she went white as a sheet and tried to press a button on her walkie without me seeing it. But I wasn't born yesterday, I know all the tricks and I hopped over the counter and grabbed the talkie from her. "Mickey, get out here," I said into it. "You and me, we got business to attend to." A curtain at the back of the service area pulled aside and there he was. He was dressed casually, no green on him at all, but he was short, and that helped mark him.

"Alright, Mickey. Gimme the gold."

He looked at me as though I were a raving lunatic. "What gold?" he calmly asked.

"You can't fool me, I saw the rainbow, it ended here, right above this store. Now give!"

At that, Mickey leaned back against the wall and started to laugh. It was a loud, infectious laugh, but I was immune. "What's so funny, Mick?"

"You, ya chump. Rainbows are circles, they only appear to be an arc. And I'm no Leprechaun, I'm a midget, or as I prefer to say, vertically challenged."
"Oh yeah? How come the greeter pointed me this direction when I asked for a leprechaun?"

He shook his head, "My name is Mickey O'Banion, you figure it out, gumshoe."

"This ain't over, Mickey, I'll be keeping an eye on you."

He turned his back on me and I was escorted out of the store. But I'll be back, I know his secret, I just have to be cleverer about it.

“May God give you...For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.”
An Irish Blessing

Depending upon your point of view, where I live has either been blessed by having major storms just skirt us or cursed by the lack of a rousing good thunderstorm. Either way, I went out to get something after the storm and saw a beautiful rainbow. There was also a tree in the road that I moved but it was someone's dead Christmas tree and was just an accident waiting to happen. But the rainbow, as you can clearly see from the photo, has an end. In a bulding.

But not just any building. It ended right in Wal*Mart. The following story is not true... I didn't really do it... But oh I wanted to....

It was one of those days in the mid-west. A fast moving storm had just passed through and I was headed out to Wal*Mart™ to get something to satisfy my sweet tooth. What I didn't know, see, was I was gonna get Lucky! I turned out of my apartment complex and stopped at the light, waiting for it to turn so I could cross the road and head into Wal*Mart when I saw it, a multi-colored band of light that just shouted GOLD! and ended at my destination. As soon as the light changed green I gunned the engine and popped the clutch, hopping over the road and swerving into the parking lot, my tires making loud noises on the wet asphalt. I pulled up in front of the store and shut down the car, parking in the fire lane like I was one of the privileged folks who do that with their Hummers because they know nobody's gonna tow a vehicle that can run them over later. I figured luck was on my side and I could risk it

I popped through the doors and turned on the greeter, a dame who resemebled a drop of water hanging from an icicle and just as cold. I looked at her name tag and then turned my eyes to look at her face. I wish I could have kept looking at her nametag, not cause it was attached to something nice and feminine but because her face wasn't. "Marlene," I said, "where's the leprechaun?" She looked at me like I was a crazed man and maybe I was. Maybe all the nights of cheap gin and cheaper cigarettes had finally gotten to me, but I pressed in close. "C'mon, kid, the leprechaun, just tell me where he is." She seemed scared. She was shaking, or maybe it was just her palsy but she raised one shuddering hand that looked more like a raven's claw and pointed toward customer service.

"There, that way. Ask for Mickey." I touched the brim of my hat in thanks and turned, knowing that every second was making the rainbow fade and I needed to find the Leprechaun before it disappeared completely.

I got to the customer service desk and shouldered past a couple of goons who were there trying to make it look like they were returning merchandise but I knew better. I could see the receipts in their hands and the unopened merchandise and figured they were a couple of heavies that Mickey kept around to keep folks away and in line. That and the odd shapes in their pockets where their MP3 players should be looked to remarkably L-shaped to be anything but one of the players that only plays one note, and that would always be a sharp report.

"Look, sister," I said to the dame behind the counter, thinking that if she were my sister I'd have committed patricide, matricide and suicide, though I'd have let her live as an object lesson. "I'm looking for Mickey, see, and I need to see him right away. It's urgent." She started to object that she didn't know anyone by that name. "The Leprechaun," I interrupted. Suddnely she went white as a sheet and tried to press a button on her walkie without me seeing it. But I wasn't born yesterday, I know all the tricks and I hopped over the counter and grabbed the talkie from her. "Mickey, get out here," I said into it. "You and me, we got business to attend to." A curtain at the back of the service area pulled aside and there he was. He was dressed casually, no green on him at all, but he was short, and that helped mark him.

"Alright, Mickey. Gimme the gold."

He looked at me as though I were a raving lunatic. "What gold?" he calmly asked.

"You can't fool me, I saw the rainbow, it ended here, right above this store. Now give!"

At that, Mickey leaned back against the wall and started to laugh. It was a loud, infectious laugh, but I was immune. "What's so funny, Mick?"

"You, ya chump. Rainbows are circles, they only appear to be an arc. And I'm no Leprechaun, I'm a midget, or as I prefer to say, vertically challenged."
"Oh yeah? How come the greeter pointed me this direction when I asked for a leprechaun?"

He shook his head, "My name is Mickey O'Banion, you figure it out, gumshoe."

"This ain't over, Mickey, I'll be keeping an eye on you."

He turned his back on me and I was escorted out of the store. But I'll be back, I know his secret, I just have to be cleverer about it.